What’s The Point Of This?

Why do I do this? Why do I have a tiny corner of the internet that I’ve carved out for myself, invested my time, money and energy in and made my own? It doesn’t give any of those things back, taking, taking and taking. So why do I do it? Lately I’ve been asking myself these questions. What exactly is the point of Spare Oom?

Orange berries

All month I’ve been posting every day and honestly, I’ve hated it. Today is the first day I haven’t had a post scheduled ahead of time and I don’t know if this will even make it up today. I’ve been keeping barely a day ahead of myself, generally writing Saturday’s post on Friday, Sunday’s on Saturday, and so on. It’s exhausting and is diminishing my love for this blog. I decided to do All-in August as this is my last month advertising my blog until next year, but also because I’m going on holiday on the 31st, and there’s likely to be a bit of a decrease in posts while I’m in Japan. I’m starting to think that All-in August was a big mistake. I did a month of daily blogging back in October 2016, but my circumstances were entirely different. At the time, I was living at home, single and unemployed, with little contact with friends. I threw everything I had into Blogtober, because I could. Now, I work 8-5, five days a week, have a boyfriend and am gradually building a group of friends. Coupled with an upcoming house move and planning for the trip to Japan, my time is much more limited than in October.

All-in August is causing me stress, amplifying existing tensions in my life, especially at work, and generally making my month less enjoyable than it should be. It’s also having a negative effect on my blog; in my desperation to think of 31 blog posts and get them all photographed and written, the quality has dropped. I’m writing things I don’t care about, the things I do care about are rushed and the things that are usually my filler posts are becoming boring. I really hate that.

The solution may seem obvious: go back to my normal writing schedule and forget about All-in August. That may yet be what I end up doing, but the truth is that I can be very stubborn and after saying that I’d post every day for a month, I’m struggling to let go of that. I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Today’s post is going up late, and tomorrow’s isn’t planned yet. Safe to say, I’m struggling with my blog at the moment. I have plans for the future but I’m not sure how to implement them, and right now I’m stuck in the quagmire that is All-in August and my stubbornness.

This post is part of All-in August, where I attempt to post every single day in August, despite it being one my busiest months. Keep up with it here!

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