I wrote a little thing back in October about how clothes make me feel, and after a few new purchases lately I’ve been thinking about how specific items inspire different emotions. I bought this coat from H&M, and I don’t quite know what came over me. It’s very long and forest green, doesn’t button up and definitely makes a statement.
I’ll be honest, on my 5ft4, size 16 body, with all its lumps and bumps, it’s not the most flattering fit. That’s not the reason I bought it. As soon as I tried it on in the shop, I knew that I loved it. I think it’s the swooshiness. When I was three, I absolutely loved a dress made by a family friend that was all purple chiffon, with loops that went round my wrists as if I had wings. I wore it everywhere, this fairy dress, mostly with my favourite red wellies. It was a look for sure. You’d find me climbing trees, playing on the swings and at parties in this dress; I loved it that much.
At seven, my grandparents brought back a dress for me from Spain. It was mostly white with floral details, and was very voluminous. I wore it to all the school parties and would spin around, and no one ever mentioned that you could totally see my knickers.
When I was about thirteen, I owned a circular peasant skirt, with panels of paisley interspersed with panels of burgundy. It came to my mid-calf, and I loved how I could run downstairs and it would billow around me. I wore it constantly in summer, with sandals or barefoot and a vest top, and I bloody loved it.
As I got older, I felt like longer skirts and billowing fabrics just made me look bigger, and I started wearing things like mini-skirts, jeans and fitted jackets. I still love these things, but they don’t quite have the joy of those earlier outfits. This coat brings it back.
There’s no denying that it makes me look a bit bigger than I am, but I honestly don’t care. Walking around in an all black outfit with this thrown over the top makes me feel like a complete badass. I love it unfastened, billowing and flapping around in all its glory. I love it belted shut, creating a bit of a waist, with it flying open around my legs as I walk.
I feel like a cross between a wizard in robes, the wicked witch of the west, someone from the Matrix and a fairy. I feel like a child again, running and playing in the garden, spinning around at those parties, thundering down the stairs just to watch my skirt swirl around me. I think I just love voluminous skirts, lots of material and long coats. I feel like a badass and feminine at the same time, and so what if it doesn’t ‘suit’ me? I think I look great, and I feel amazing.